Ask Who Not How....

"Woman in Mirror"- Picasso

So I was in a coaching session yesterday (my own, not a client’s…yes, I too have a coach!) and my coach said something to me that really shook up my thinking. He said, “when we ask how we get totally in our heads. It becomes completely mechanical thinking. But it’s not our head that moves us to action. It’s our heart.”

Dang! Preach it, Brotha!

Then I started to analyze my thinking this last few weeks. In my journey to create this women’s retreat ministry, what has my main focus been? It’s been HOW!

How do I get it started? How do I market it? How much do I charge? How much is it worth? How do I set it up? How, How, How….But too much HOW sucks the like out of life. It’s too mechanical. It’s all in our heads. It’s too much about the plan, the schedule, the process and not enough about the experience, the joy, the passion in the journey. It also leads to overwhelm, stress, procrastination, and in my case, mental and physical exhaustion.

See if you’re brain is like a computer (and it is), spending all your time in the HOW sucks up RAM (random access memory….aka desktop space) at an unbelievable rate, and the end result is paralysis, the inability to do ANYTHING! Believe me, sitting on a dream, especially one that is God-given, is a very uncomfortable place to be. Not doing anything is NOT an option!

So what’s a highly motivated, process-oriented girl who’s plagued by procrastination to do? She has to stop asking HOW so much and start asking WHO. Ok…I say to Brook, uh, “what exactly does that mean?” “You have to start asking who do I need to be today?” Who needs to show up to achieve this goal? WHO brings us back to the heart, and the heart produces action, motivation, and passion. Wow….so how does this tie into my 30 day mission? Well…follow me on this one….

If we become what we focus on and we are ALWAYS focused on How to do stuff, we become mechanical, obsessive and overwhelmed. That’s not to say a little bit of how isn’t a good thing…a little bit is necessary to get things done. But if we continually focus on how we do two things:

1) We take our focus off of God to provide direction. This is bad, people…This leads to wondering around in the wilderness. We have to stay open to where God wants us to go and take our hands off the wheel and let him drive. Only by shifting our focus from how to who can we accomplish this.

2) We get totally stuck in the details and begin to worry about success/failure. This is the trap that most people will fall into. It is when we only focus on How that we begin to worry about failure. Laser vision on WHO we need to be will allow us to be unattached to the outcome and embrace success…because WE control who we are going to be….it is the only thing we control.

So thanks to my coach for reminding me about all this wisdom that I possess. Ask me about him, I would be happy to share his info with you. But more than that, thanks to God for putting people and thoughts in my path to confirm and guide me in the direction that I need to go! Stay tuned….more to come about GPS4Life Ministries!

My Best Month Ever

I am sleepy this morning- like dozing off where I sit sleepy. Oh, it’s my own fault…I’m burning the candle at both ends right now, and, at times, feels like I am trying to light up the middle too. What happened to my “kick back and relax with the kids summer?”

Here’s my problem in a nutshell. I do too much. I expect too much. I expect to be able to do too much….sensing a trend? Last night, I was listening to Earl Nightingale’s Strangest Secret (thanks so much Lisa, it was needed in the worst way) and he said something that is so true, so right on, but that I struggle to wrap my heart and mind around. He defined success as “the progression to the realization of a worthy ideal.”

Wow! That’s it? No dollar amount, no stuff to count, no prestigious or honorable mention in the history books. I simply have to define MY worthy ideal and move toward it? Yep…it’s that easy.

Here’s the kicker…by that definition, I am wildly successful. HUH? Me? Already successful? But there is so much left to do? Yep, there is. And I am not going to stop doing it, but what does that change for me knowing that I am ALREADY successful? I don’t have to fear failure anymore, because I have already achieved great things. Does that set me free to do even greater things? I believe it does and I am ready to set about the realization of those worthy ideals.

I won’t tell you it’s all cupcakes and butterflies, there is still a lot of hard work. For me a good deal of that is mental. I struggle with breaking the connection between my net worth and my self worth. In many ways, this holds me back from being truly great and from stepping fully into my role as a called minister of God. I struggle with both a fear of failure and, perhaps, a fear of success as well, and this prevents me from maintaining a singular focus on my goal and working to achieve it. But I have a plan to change all this.

Here’s what I am going to do. I am taking Earl Nightingale’s Strangest Secret 30 Day Test. I am committing to focus on my goal of bringing GPS4Life ministries into fruition. I am developing my compelling, detailed and sensory specific vision. I am writing it on a card to carry with me and I commit to actively work to replace negative thoughts with positive, goal oriented thoughts about my vision.

“We become what we think about.” Uh-oh….for me, that has been fear, worry, and, well, laundry, but I am committing to change those thought patterns for something much more compelling: a connected community of Christian women.

I invite you to join with me in one or all of the following ways:

In Prayer. I ask you to pray for my thought life. I have been crippling my Walk with God of late with tons of tiny agreements. Agreements I have made with myself that have shut out my loving and merciful Lord. Pray that I have the strength to break those agreements and stay true to my commitment to change how I have been thinking.

In Commitment. Listen to the Strangest Secret. I have posted the link below. Take his 30 day challenge yourself. Post your comments and let me know how to pray for you. Tell me about your wins and your challenges, as I share with you mine.

In Support and Witness. In one of my favorite movies, “Shall We Dance?” ( no judgments here- it’s really good!), Susan Sarandon’s character, Beverly, is asked why people get married. She says, “Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, I mean what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything...the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things...all of it, all the time, every day. You're saying... Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.” (See! I told you it was a good movie!) While, I’m not asking you to marry me, J I would love your support and your witness to my efforts. I always commit more fully when I have others to support me and hold me accountable.

So Day 1 of the best month of my life starts today. I’m gonna get busy on my compelling vision and perhaps I’ll post it for you later. Download that link, guys. Listen to it! And make today the first day of your new life!

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=batch_download&batch_id=cmczYUlsaTFoMlVLSkE9PQ