Showing posts with label choice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choice. Show all posts

Monday, January 4, 2010

Life in the Medium Lane



The dressing room was completely empty this morning as I prepared for my morning swim. I love a calm swimming pool…a quiet dressing room…perfect morning. As I walked out of the dressing room and into the pool, a little girl inside jumped for joy. Just me! I can pick ANY lane I want! YAY!

As I looked across the pool, with it’s quietly rippling surface, the six lane lines floating unassumingly along the top of the water, I glanced at the shallow end of the lap lanes…and felt all my exhilaration fall away. There, on the deck, at the end of the pool stood the label for each lane. You know the little yellow bi-fold signs that say “Fast,” “Medium,” and “Slow?” As I scanned those signs, I could almost hear the little girl inside cry out, “Nooooo!”

See, now I can’t choose any lane I want…I have to take the lane I’m “supposed” to be in. This is my paradigm.

Now freeze frame here for a moment. Picture me, standing in front of a completely open pool, thinking to my black and white conscience, I must choose the lane I am supposed to go in…medium, I think…yeah, I am a medium swimmer. To be quite honest, I have no frame of reference for which lane I should be in. I have never had someone tap me on the shoulder and say, “You really should be in the medium lane.” But I put myself there anyway. Because somewhere in the back of my mind I have the belief that I haven’t put in the time, effort or haven’t the skill to swim in the fast lane, and thus don’t deserve to be there.

Even when no one else is in the pool with me.

The weight of this revelation and the implication in my life sat with me as I stroked my way through my workout. With each stroke, I wondered how much faster I would have to swim to be a “fast swimmer.” I wondered who would have to define that for me? Would I ever believe it of myself, without acknowledgement from an outside expert? How do I hold myself back in my life due to this same belief?

And then, a single thought entered my mind and hung there in the splish splash rhythm of my freestyle stroke…a thought striking enough that I stopped swimming.

My adult, wise self had a meeting with that little girl inside. And said something to her that I have said to my children countless times before. Wise Cari said to Baby Girl Cari-

EVERYTHING is a choice. Choosing to follow the rules is a choice. Choosing to label myself a “medium” swimmer is a choice. Choosing to get into the “medium” lane is a choice AND choosing to believe that I am not good enough and must rely on someone else to tell me that I am is a choice. Now CHOOSE to stop doubting and CHOOSE to get your butt over to the fast lane.

Which is exactly what I did. Maybe just for today, I swam in the fast lane. Tomorrow, perhaps I will swim in the medium lane again. I did find myself pushing a little harder, resting a little less and being more conscious of the technical aspects of my stroke, and I realized that, frankly, I am not sure if I WANT to swim in the “fast” lane. However, whether I want it or not is not relevant to this post. What is most important is that, regardless of whether I want to live life in the fast lane or the medium lane, or even in the slow lane, I never forget that I have the power to CHOOSE.


Monday, September 7, 2009

Our Labor Day Advenutre Story


Our Labor Day Adventure Story

Wow! It is Labor Day today! September 7, 2009….where has the time gone? It woooshed by in a seemingly endless flash of activities and accomplishments, sometimes marked only by the ever-changing height of my children (and width of my petushky;)...but that is changing as well- for the better…

Yesterday, we spent the afternoon running from odd location to location filming a short feature film about lava monsters and kings and queens. It started innocently enough as a request from my son to climb the rock wall at our local Lewis and Clark store. He is nothing short of a monkey and easily scales the “Easy” wall, but has been struggling to make over a large outcropping of rock that protrudes from the middle of the “Medium” wall. He would go back every day if we let him. Like a dog with a bone that one….laser focused on his goals. I love that about him. Anyway, in the midst of his request, I cried out, “So you would like to go scale the Cliffs of Despair, eh?” My daughter chimes in. “And rescue Queen Rosalina and Princess Rosie from the Lava Monster. He has kidnapped us and taken us to the Pools of Languish.” (Did I mention she’s six…languish, really? Man, her teacher, Mrs. Gartner must be working overtime in the vocabulary lessons!)

The entire story seemed to explode from that point! In a beautiful flurry of imagination and wit, our children began to storyboard what was soon to become a twenty minute short film complete with several props, five locations and a supporting cast that included their Grandmother! It was an amazing adventure and so very interesting to watch and participate in making a fantasy world come to life!

Charlie and I are online gamers in our free time (World of Warcraft mostly)- don’t hate on me, it was a last ditch attempt to understand a hobby of my husband’s and I got sucked in;) But yesterday we didn’t play at all- which is unusual because Sunday afternoon is when we typically meet his sister and brother-in-law online to play for an hour or so. They live cross country from us, so this is a way to stay connected at times. We were busy creating our own fantasy land and having an absolutely blast doing it!

We did learn a few things:

1) Our children are far better actors than we are! Chas and I are so cheesy….of course that adds to the fun of the film, I suppose.
2) My arms are very long and don’t look nearly as graceful as I think they do when I am flailing them about….no wonder people laugh at me when I get really excited!
3) We have an inability to quit….even if we should. We don’t know how to stop until something is finished. You know I am a Welch by birth and our surname motto is “Ne cede arduis” – do not give in to difficulties- so true that a motto written hundreds of years before me fits me to such an extent. This trait seems on the outside to be a good thing, but we have a tendency to take EVERYTHING to extremes, so it can get a little out of control.
4) My kids and husband are like the coolest people ever!
So the short story is that it was a fantastic adventure…not just an imaginary one, but a real one as well! We had a blast and truly worked well together as a production crew. I hope to post the video below, but it turned out to be about 20 min long, so I am not terribly sure if I will be able to…that is, of course, once Charlie finishes editing it and adding the soundtrack (his favorite part).

Now the children are up and rearing to go, so I must close….I am excited to discover our adventure for today! What’s your adventure? Do you feel like you are living in a dramatic trajedy instead of an action/adventure? As my son says, “The great thing about making up our own stories is that we CHOOSE how they will be….” And that piece of wisdom, my friends, doesn’t just apply to feature films, but to everyday life! So choose adventure and let’s go have some fun!