Veteran's Day Speech: What the Star Spangled Banner means to me....

By popular request, here is the Veteran's Day speech I gave today at a local middle school. This was the original script and I am positive that I did not stick to it, but since I can't really remember what else I said, this will have to do;)

What the Star Spangled Banner means to me….

I am a soldier. A retired soldier, true, but once an army chick- always an army chick. I have heard this song sung more times than I can count and honestly it doesn’t matter where or when or who sings it, it stops me in my tracks.

Just last week, we were in Cancun, Mexico for a wedding. The resort we were staying at played the World Series every night on the beach (by the way, watching baseball is WAY more enjoyable on the beach!) One night, we were walking out to meet some friends by the pool and heard the National Anthem being played. Call it training, call it conditioning, or, simply call it patriotism. I stopped..middle of the sidewalk, tons of people behind me, put my hand over my heart and sang along. You see, it may be just a song, but to me it represents so much more. It represents the freedoms that our American military fight so hard to protect. It represents a way of life that I thank God for daily. It represents triumph over oppression.

Just in case you don’t know the history behind this song, let me give you the short version. “The Star Spangled Banner” was written by a man named Francis Scott Key during the War of 1812 fought between the British and the Americans (as well as the French and Indians.) There were many causes of this war, but a lot of it boiled down to a desire to uphold national honor for a relatively young nation.

At this point in the war, the Americans weren’t doing so well. We had already lost control of the capital. The White House had been burned and looted and the entire government was on the run. The British had set their sights on the Baltimore harbor, but they had to take Fort McHenry, the point defensive station for the Harbor.

The attack on Fort McHenry began on September 13, 1814 and lasted nearly 25 hours. The British hurled 1500-1800 canonballs at the fort. The Fort repelled two land assaults and on the morning of September 14, 1814, the soldiers at Fort McHenry took down the standard storm flag…torn and shredded by the raging battle and raised a huge 30 ft X 42 ft American flag.

Now a lot of that you may have already known, right? How many of you knew much of this? Good! But did you know that Francis Scott Key was in the harbor on a British ship? No? He was. He was on a mercy mission negotiating the release of an American doctor who was being held as a British prisoner. He was carrying letters from wounded British officers praising the care they had received from this doctor. The British released the doctor, but they had to stay with the British until the attack was over. On the morning of the 14^th, Key saw the American flag flying over Fort McHenry, and began writing the verses on the back of one of the letters. It was originally known as a poem called “The Defense of Fort McHenry.”

So now that you know more of the story, let’s look at the words again. Did you know that we traditionally only sing the first verse of the “Star Spangled Banner?” Anyone know how verses there are? There are four. Here is the song in its entirety.

O! say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: 'In God is our trust.'
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Every time I hear the words of this poem, I am struck by the sense of total elation that must of come over Key when caught the first gleam of that flag.

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Can you imagine? The White House has been burned and looted. Washington, DC is completely destroyed and the enemy is marching on our major sea ports. If Baltimore Harbor falls, the entire East Coast is lost. And after an entire day and an entire night of bombs exploding, rockets firing, and people shooting at one another, you are sure all is lost. The country will be retaken by the British.

There is so much smoke from all the cannon fire that you can’t even see your hand in front of your face. You look over the edge of the ship you are on and can barely see the water. You are peering, focusing, straining your eyes, looking for that storm and fire battered flag through the smog and darkness. Over the horizon the sun rises, and in the distance, you see OUR flag waving.

You see in the military world we have guidons. Does anyone know what a guidon is? A guidon is a flag that symbolizes your unit. During battle, it is the rallying point for the troops to fall into formation. The guidon bearer is a soldier selected with the specific duty to carry that flag into battle. Being selected as the guidon bearer is a big deal. It is a position of great honor and responsibility, and the guidon bearer accepts this responsibility to never let the guidon fall, even if he must die to protect it. Because as long as the guidon flies, our unit still exists, still triumphs. THAT is what the American flag is. It is this country’s guidon. Our rallying point, our common shout that despite our differing backgrounds and beliefs, we are blessed to live in the “land of the free and the home of the brave.”

As long as it flies, it is a symbol that this country is triumphant and strong. The Star Spangled Banner is so much more to me than a song. It is a cry of triumph, a shout of joy, and a roar of pride that our country is great and mighty. It was the same for Francis Scott Key, who was on the verge of losing his country in battle, just as it is the same for us today.

So think about this the next time you hear the Star Spangled Banner. Stopping, hand over heart, and standing at attention is not only a sign of your respect for our country, but a way to honor and join in that cry of triumph. Each time you see our flag, try to understand importance of it waving freely over our ballparks and our schools and our homes.

And remember the last verse, my favorite verse, because this poem wasn’t just about that one fateful night, it was about continuing victory of this country.

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: 'In God is our trust.'
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

We live in the land of the free and the home of the brave because men and women for the last several hundred years have chosen to fight for it. Have given up their blood, sweat and tears for it. So that the guidon doesn’t fall. So that you can still rally here beneath this flag. Take some time today, this Veteran’s Day, to remind yourself how blessed you are because of those sacrifices….and then go out and make it a point to say, “Thank you,” to someone who has or is serving. They deserve it. Thank you for the honor of speaking to you today. God bless America and God bless you!

Below is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with both the first and last verses. I love this version!

Elkanah- The “You-should-count-your-blessings” Guy

And Elkanah, her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is you r heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” 1 Sam 1:8

Wow! What is Hannah supposed to say to this? Now not only is she mourning her infertility, but she gets to feel guilty because her husband feels he is inadequate to meet her need. In his defense, Elkanah is trying to get Hannah to acknowledge the blessings of her life (namely himself) which certainly, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. In fact, shining a spotlight on the positive in life is often a great way to help someone going through a tough time gain perspective, but it must be done with tact and grace.

I’ll admit that these are two qualities that I don’t currently own in abundance. I am often looked as a Pollyanna. I consistently spin things around to look from an optimistic perspective. It is often, not well received. But as a blogger buddy, Bud Hennekes, of mine (www.aboundlessworld.com) says, “If I were flawless I wouldn’t be qualified to write about personal development.” Amen, brother! We are all works in progress; it is only when we begin to realize our flaws that we can truly grow.

Last night, Alexander was diligently working to solve his first Rubik’s Cube. He read somewhere (in the Guinness Book of World Records, I believe) that a person completed the Cube in just under 8 seconds. (How extraordinary is that? It takes me days to get one side!) He spent about an hour working on it when he, exhausted and deflated, said, “I never should have messed it up. I’ll never get this!”

“Really?” I said. “You’ve almost got the red side finished! That’s awesome!”

Turns out, a pep talk was not what he wanted to hear at that moment. He totally melted down. Shoot, just call me Elkanah. Now I’m not saying that I did exactly the same thing. Elkanah took Hannah’s pain and made it about him- that is a whole other chapter. But we were both in essence saying, “It’s wrong to be frustrated about this- count all of your blessings.”

How often do we do this to our friends, loved ones and even to ourselves? Elkanah was telling Hannah, you don’t need a baby, you have me! I was telling Xander you don’t need to be upset, you are making progress! Neither statement meant harm. In fact, both were well-intended, but both hurt and bruised an already wounded spirit. By failing to first acknowledge and affirm the difficulty and pain of the current situation, we failed to support our loved one and really only ended up making them feel worse.

I think that as a human beings created specifically to walk and talk with God, our most significant need in life is to feel we have been heard.

Xander didn’t want my pep talk. He wanted me to listen, to hear and to acknowledge his remorse for doing something that could not now be undone. Hannah didn’t want Elkinah to remind her of the love she had in her life, she simply wanted him to listen, hear and acknowledge the desperation in her soul.

I watched my husband, Charlie, flawlessly model the behavior that I needed to learn I that moment.

“What’s up Xanman?” he asked, quietly.

In the desperate cry that only a seven year old can muster, he said, “I’ve messed the whole thing up and now there’s yellow here and green there. It’s impossible! I’ll never fix it! I should have never started it!”

“I hear ya. It is sad when you can’t fix things right away. I’m sorry that it is harder than you thought it would be. I was always scared to start these myself when I got them. But, there’s no fun in not trying. Right?”

Sniff. Sniff, “Right,” Xander muttered.

“And you do have the red side almost all finished! That’s awesome! Give me a high-five! I am sure you will figure this all out. It will probably take some time.”

“OK,” said Xander. “Hey Dad?”

“Yes, son?”

“You think Google would know how to do this?”

Simply by acknowledging Xander’s problem, and letting him know that he was heard, Charlie completely diffused the situation, and opened Xander up to exploring a possibility other than giving up. Wow! I am a blessed woman! Of course, now I have an incredibly focused seven year old who won’t put down the Rubik’s cube to brush his teeth this morning, but I suppose this is the price you pay for teaching your children that persistence and perseverance pay off. I wonder if Google really does know how to solve a Rubik’s cube…

Company Girl Coffee10/23/09

Strawberry Chocolate Chip Scones from Karina's Kitchen

www.glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com

I am getting a little bit of a late start on the Company Girl Coffee this morning...so welcome to afternoon tea! I am just beside myself with joy, ok, well, honestly...I was beside myself with joy until I just sat down to right this and realized that it is already 2 in the afternoon...ugh!

Anyway, today we had parent/teacher conferences. I want to take a moment to say how blessed I am that my children are able to go to such a wonderful, Christian school and are taught by such a wonderful Christian woman. My children got glowing reports and I was so pleased! Most wonderfully, Mrs G talked about how responsible they were becoming and how they were always fantastic at being lights for Jesus! My babies are so awesome!

I say that kind of in reminder, because they are home from school today and I realized that I am desperately trying to fit them into MY daily routine. This is NOT working. And I am growing increasingly frustrated with the situation (not to mention I forgot to take my hormones this morning, so Lack of Estrogen Rage is starting to set in. ;) So I am desperately reminding myself that they are blessings and that this is a special day, so it is ok to put my schedule, agenda and routine on hold for today. I think instead of the usual house blessing that I do on Fridays, we are going to go shopping for our Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes. Yep...that's what we are going to do....Thanks for listening to my ramblings and well, sorry to sip tea and kick you out the door (but here's a beautifully decorated bag of gluten free, vegan strawberry choco chip scones for you!) Have a wonderful weekend!

Smiling Socks:

I Love You's From the Dresser Drawer...

This week our Marriage Champions discussion group focused a very heavy topic, you ready?….duh-duh-dun….household responsibilities. And while at first, it may seem like small potatoes in the land of marriage enrichment (I mean we are discussing difficult topics like communication, conflict management and sexual intimacy here), what we discovered is that “neglect of home and family” is second only to “mental cruelty” as a stated reason for divorce. That’s right, household responsibilities are no small potatoes in marriage.

I don’t think that revelation came as a surprise to most of the women in the room. I pray that it didn’t come as a big surprise to most of the men. Get this: it is estimated that 86% of all marital conflicts are over division of labor in the household. 86%! More than money, or disciplining kids, or sex- more arguments are over who is going to do the dishes tonight. I knew it was a big deal, but I was kind of floored by the numbers.

As we were sharing about the common stumbling blocks that interfere with a healthy relationship, there were several that caught my attention. But I think my own personal revelation as I was telling a story about socks really drove home what this whole Marriage Champions thing is all about in a nutshell. It’s about how we show love. I know, deep epiphany, right? But hang with me here.

Early on in our relationship, Charlie and I had a huge fight about laundry. This one was a yelling, screaming hissy fit (for my part anyway). Over socks. Yep, I almost walked right out the door of the home that God had made for me….over socks.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal. Charlie approached me very gently with a pair of socks in his hand. A pair of socks I had carefully smoothed, rolled and folded together with the happy little smiling face shining out at him. He said calmly and sweetly, “Hey, Sweetie, do you think that you could not fold my socks like this? It stretches the cuff and they don’t stay up as well.” To Charlie, this was a reasonable request. He was even helping me out by lightening my load a bit…he certainly didn’t expect the total meltdown that ensued.

“I guess the way I fold socks is not good enough for you! Do you know how long it took me to do that!?” The conversation just went downhill from there. Then I proceeded to dredge up all the other recent discussions on laundry we had had in the last few months. (He and I do it very differently, to this day.) Charlie, for his part, reeling in the shock of my explosion, disengaged. Ugh! Not a good move. Disengaging only fed my anger and we began a vicious feedback loop which only went away after a four hour cool down period.

My point to my ramblings is this. None of that was about socks. It was about love.

You see, my Daddy was a navy man. From the time I was a little girl, I had learned to fold socks with little smiley faces (it's a military thing, I suppose...helped me a lot in the Army). It was how he taught me, and how he liked (and still likes) his socks folded. I don’t know if my mom likes to fold socks that way, I just know that she does. Because it is not about socks…It is about love.

When Charlie rejected the way that I folded socks, in my mind, he wasn’t rejecting the socks…he was rejecting me. My love. My service. My smiley faces. He had no idea, to him, it was just a sock that wouldn’t stay up because the cuff was stretched out. To me, it was an act of love. You see, it wasn’t the tip of the iceberg (doing laundry) that sank the Titanic, it was the huge hunk of ice beneath the surface of the water (my emotional attachment to that task) that ripped the hull in two.

Of course, at the time, neither of us understood that the laundry wasn’t the issue. It wasn’t until we went through the Marriage Enrichment training with NWA Healthy Marriages (www.nwamarriages.com) that we were given the tools to identify the real issues behind the seemingly little things that can hurt or build a relationship. Some of you have the opportunity to attend that same training this weekend, October 24, 2009 from 9-4. It is inexpensive ($39) and well worth the investment of time. I have included the link to their website. I invite and encourage you to check it out, you, your spouse and maybe even your socks, will be glad you did!

Company Girl Coffee 10/16/09

Good Morning Ladies! It's been so long and I have missed you all so much! Life has been a whirlwind of activity! The first Strings Attached Retreat was a great success and I learned so much from the ladies that I worked with! Now on to the rest of fall....So here is what I am up to now...please pray that God will be the extra tough superglue that holds all my seams together 'cause wow things are only speeding up!

This weekend marks the last of my downtime until, well until the end of the year really so I am hoping to put on a big pot of chili and rest and relax with my family. Bear with me, this list/schedule is more for my benefit th10/24 an yours, but any commiserating about the craziness hectic-ness that I call my life would be more than welcome :)!

So for the next several weeks I am still leading a Marriage Champions class on Sunday evenings. I love the group of couples and the opportunity to help strengthen marriages in our church, but I have been rewriting the manual each week and that takes a lot of bandwidth. (More than I had bargained for really). I have a marriage conference I am helping with next weekend, a retreat to plan for my home church, a fall festival to attend, two banquets and four volleyball games (that's all next week). My husband and I are leaving for Mexico Oct 31 for a week...I need to plan meals for my son (he has a severe allergic disorder and it is much easier to provide meals than for his caregiver to worry about them the whole week), as soon as I return I speak at a youth leadership conference, a ladies retreat and then travel for the next two weekends! WOOSH! I am tired already!

And guess what? I decided to table the book I am currently working on for a project I feel is more imminent. SO, I need your help to make that happen! Here's the idea:

I am writing a book about how women can help each other through difficult times in healthy ways (non-codependent ways). I realize that my Company Girls probably have some wonderful stories to share that show/tell how you were lifted up and supported through a tough time by your girlfriends. I would love to hear them and possibly share them in my book (which would in turn be your book, too.) In the spirit of the Strings Attached Village, let's write a book together, combining our stories and experiences with good and bad forms of support through difficult times. If you are interested in learning more and contributing, please email me at cari@gps4life.net and I will send you more info including parameters and style and the like.

Happy Coffee Day! Thanks for listening! I can't wait to see what you all are doing this week!